Where you are now

December 21, 2011

From what I saw in life I can tell that there are three tribes in the world:

First tribe – you

You are responsible for own actions and the actions you will make will bring the results. When you will change your diet into a plant based one – you get healthier. If you gonna move and exercise – you will gain mobility, and from that you get first tier happiness ( being happy from your direct actions performed by your body, as opposed to the happiness by proxy i.e. watching other’s life on tv ). Your actions create new patterns, and new patterns after about 3 weeks of pushing them become self-sustaining, since that is the amount of time your body needs to create a new pattern. You are a tribe of one.

Second tribe – your close ones

Abstruse Goose comic strip licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial 3.0 United States License

Friends don’t let friends chase ghosts

Your family and your closest supporters are out there for you. They will help you when you start to make some mistakes and go away from loving yourself first and start to chase some arbitrary thing instead for the sake of doing it. You will be able to support your second tribe after you will make your first tribe to generate surplus. In other words: to love someone you have to start loving yourself first. If you won’t take care of yourself, then you will become a defacto liability for your second tribe.

In this tribe you dont need money, since you can help each other out in the traditional Amish barn-raising way, where everyone shows up and chips in a little with what they have.

Third tribe – outsiders

When you figure out how to handle first two tribes you can spread extra love on outsiders, organise local community and see beyond what you think and go after what you feel, like for example Dr. Vandana Shiva, PhD

If you fail to love self and your close ones you will start to wonder why you are left out when you need some help yourself. The realisation eventually will come that your friends left you because you left them in the first place when you started to please others at expense of neglecting self and your close ones.

Body and soul of yourself and your close ones can handle a lot short term drains, just  but if you constantly drain them physically or emotionally they will treat you as a liability mostly, since all you do is take and then give it away to others… For others you can be a Nobel Prize winner, but it doesn’t excuse you from being a dick to yourself nor to your close ones. Many of the world’s greatest leaders died unhappy since they were constantly stuck in pleasing others.

You are now here:

In front of your communication device reading rant of someone belonging to your 3rd tribe.

Instead, you should probably be resting by i.e. looking at the stars, giving time and space to yourself, your own ‘first tribe’, so it’s self-healing mechanisms would have a chance to happen. The long forgotten art of being in peace with your own thoughts so you can spend some time alone and be happy about it instead of requiring constant attention, nor dispersing your own thoughts through media devices.

In the long run, you probably are stuck in a routine where you are pleasing other members of the 3rd tribe so in exchange you receive some impersonal exchange tokens so you can pass them on along the way… Instead of giving your close ones some time and really talking about some deep issues, like health, happiness, seeking way out of the rush of the modern world.

There are other ways of doing business, there is barter, there are local currencies, there is simple gratitude and doing things for a song. There is growing food in the common local space which reduces crime and strengthens community, so no wonder that even the police and members of the royal family are a big fan of it. All of those actions mentioned above will shift your focus from the third tribe to the second tribe.

This behavior of self-sacrificing for some greater, usually imaginary goal has a name. It is called co-dependency:

Codependency is a relational disease, or immaturity, generally passed down through families, that has become more prevalent as baby boomers retire. (…)

There are many signs and most of them are related to boundaries. Like boundaries with personal “physical” space (ie. standing too close to someone in an elevator) people in codependent relationships interfere with others by invading emotional space. When you realize you feel uncomfortable when asked for (un-needed) “help”, a person close to you is always “needing help” and you are the main provider for comfort or any other support, or feeling pulled in many directions by the people closest to you.

There is good news. It can be cured. Just as you created self-destructive patterns, you can also create patterns beneficial to your physical and mental health.

You can pick up exercise pattern, a self-defence course in martial arts, a meditative exercise like yoga or tai-chi that will help you get yourself together and form your 2nd tribe with others in your class. This will let you to master your response to fight-or-flight situations, so you wont be a burden on security and police services to provide safety to you.

You can try committing for 30 days to the plant based diet which is the healthiest solution there is (Bill Cliinton, Mike Tyson, Sea Shepherd crew and many others do it).

Many people who discover such new and amazing ways to live their lives start the journey to downsize their life and minimize their dependencies on the outside world. They change the jobs from lawyers to artists or health experts. They go on self-sufficiency path, some even go as deep as getting off the grid.

Technology today allows to have a contact with the 3rd tribe through the internet so you can exchange tips that way on how to grow your own plants that will feed you. Tips on how to stay positive and support your goals of health, so you will understand and feel that you’re just another person in this global movement towards sanity. You can arrange meetings with your dentist in the city so you can have a filling, get through the post some wind turbine kit or learn how to build one from scratch or order solar panels for electricity.

Make the 3rd tribe work for you, but be dependent on your 1st tribe all the time so you can support your 2nd tribe and contribute to the 3rd tribe as well when first two tribes will be addressed.

All of the above said, you are now still sitting in front of your communications device… probably still engaging in loving or hating beings you haven’t personally interacted with. Thinking that food comes from a fastfood chain, instead of own backyard and so on and so forth…

By the way, another little known fact is, that other sentient feeling beings that we refer to as animals can also be part of our 2nd tribe, which many youtube videos have proven:

Thinking about making a sandwich won’t make that sandwich anymore done. Action is needed or your first tribe will be still left ‘neglected and hungry’ :)

The moral of the whole story is that you have to power to change and decide and create new healthier patterns for yourself, instead of dwelling and justifying your status quo. You are not your past. Your past is there only to help you figure out what works for you and what doesn’t. You are you and your current feelings is what matters the most.

Of course, there is one more thing. Don’t let it all to get into your head :-)  Go at it one baby step at a time, making sure that you are in charge of changes for your own benefit, instead of chasing someone’s crazy agenda.

Godspeed on your journey

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